Yellow? Give me brown

More than friends and family, the thing I miss most about the UK is a nice pint of bitter. Everything I'd ever been served in a German bar has either been blond or black, when what I really want is a strong brunette to slip down my throat.

The English shop in Neukolln imports the likes of Old Speckled Hen and Hobgoblin, but at what cost! So I decided to get beer-curious in my best stocked local supermarket. Scanning labels for anything that contained 'Malz' (malt) I stocked up on an assortment of beers in thick brown bottles, the like of which I'd never seen in bars. I walked home heavy with anticipation.

Back in the kitchen I popped my first bottle expecting lager-flavoured (sic) disappointment. As I poured my heart almost burst with joy as my glass-half-empty skepticism was displaced by a distinctively amber-brown bevvy. I sipped. Eureka! I can die here a happy, bitter man.

Brews from left: Altenmünster, Berliner Bürgerbrau Heller Bock, Duckstein

Butter Muncher

I will never be a lard ass. Yet I may end up a butter arse. I adore it. And especially the standard salted kind that's most common in the UK. Unsalted is fine for cooking, but it just don't cut it on bread, or for that matter crumpets, crackers, muffins, malt loaf, toast, potatoes, carrots... Here in Germany there are two common sorts of butter: unsalted and gesäuert. That latter kind has a mild yoghurty taste that's fine, but no replacement for salted. However I've found this, which seems widely available in Lidl and just about rings true to what you'd more likely get at home.