Ask flat out

Save on anxiety, disappointment, unexpected expense not to mention stress by asking a few leading questions upfront when you inquire about a room/flat.

• Is it WARM (all inclusive)? If it's not you're going to want to know exactly what the Nebenkosten are going to be (that's everything else minus the rent). 

• Does it have central heating (Zentralheizung)? Categorically don't go near anything that doesn't if you're renting over the winter. Unrenovated places may seem attractively cheap but it's likely that the heating is via what's called an Ofen. It looks like a ceramic wardrobe and is about as much use. Nuff said. You need to feed it coal, which could mean going down several flights of stairs and outside, to hump said coal back up the stairs, in the vain hope that within a couple of hours your room temperature might push double digits. For 20 minutes. 

• Does it have a proper over-bath shower? Many bathrooms do not. You end up squatting in the bath like a dog, shuffling about trying to soap and rinse a hard-to-reach undercarriage.

• Are there local shops, and how local is “local”? Many areas here are pretty poor for near-by conveniences. If it doesn’t pass the FBB test (fags, booze & bread), be careful. For me at least, it’s a big irritant if I can’t get basics on my doorstep.

• Obviously, good transport links are vital for a successful social life. Check these carefully.

• Does it have a living room? Many WGs forego this to keep the rent low, as in some UK student houses. Will not having somewhere other than your own room do your head in?

• What do you mean by “kein Zweck-WG”? This is frequently stated, and means something like “it’s not a ships-in-the-night kinda place”, ie they want an environment where members of the WG interact. But does that mean a chat over a beer at the kitchen table or back-rubs over the kitchen table and naked Twister every Sunday 6-9?

• Finally, if you can, check the price with a Berliner – they’ll let you know if you’re being taken for a ride. Give them the area, the room size, and if it’s Warm or Kalt. Be sure to thank them with an invitation to Twister on Sunday.